..after sex. List with commentary compiled by Lemon Drop; with the name alone you can tell its a girly site. Personally, I dont mind talking with my girl after some horizontal mambo. Ladies, most guys dont. But if you do keep talking, make sure you don’t utter one of these confidence-kryptonite phrases, guaranteed to bum us out and blanket the post-romp air with awk-awk-awkwardness. Without further ado:
10. “That was nice.”
Did we just leave a community theater production of “Our Town”? If you enjoyed yourself, that’s fantastic. In fact, that was probably our only goal during the session. But, please, use any other word to describe it-”hot,” “amazing,” or “incredible” are good starters.
9. “What do you wanna do now?”
Often said in conjunction with finished homework, this question makes us thinks you viewed the sex as a chore.
8. “Why’d you stop?”
God must’ve needed a laugh. That’s the only explanation we can think of.
7. “Are you OK?”
If we start crying, forgo the sympathy and just pretend not to notice. Seriously, though — we’re in bliss. The last thing we want is to feel self-conscious.
6. “It’s not you, it’s me!”
This one is salvageable, because we can reply with, “You’re right. You’re just too hot for a normal man to handle.” Although, chances are we’re too busy trying to fashion a noose out of the bed sheets to notice.
5. “Man, I’m starving.”
This implies that, the whole time we were trying to please you, you were thinking about food — which we’re not (for once!).
4. “Wanna try again?”
Even the most goal-oriented dudes will shudder at the word “try” as it relates to the bedroom. Between the sheets isn’t the place for the Little Engine That Could.
3. “Everyone has an off night.”
Off night? Oh, right. Yeah. Too bad you’re not the girl we hooked up with last weekend. We rocked her world.
2. “Do you mind if I finish myself?”
Of course not. But, rather than ask permission, just go for it. The show will definitely help stitch up our wounded ego.
1. “It happens to lots of guys.”
If you utter this phrase — the single most abhorred combination of words in the history of spoken language — then you deserve not to be satisfied.
Those were some of the sayings compiled by lemondrop.com. I guess a few of them are pretty bad to hear. I can’t say that I haven’t heard at least one of these before, right Michelley? Haha…just kidding…maybe. But I’ve compiled a list of my own with sayings that are far worse. Some are meant in jest and some are serious. You pick which one is which.
“Round 2? Baby, we still need to finish round 1.”
“Tomorrow, let’s try to bump up the time from 5 to 6 minutes.”
“You had a condom on, right?”
“Sorry honey, I’m just used to yelling that.”
“Can we go deeper next time?”
“Sorry, I forgot how much comes out.”
“No, honey, everything’s fine, I think it’s cute you’re so turned on by me.”
“I really wasn’t thinking of him, his name just slipped out.”
“You’re almost as good as your brother.”
“So not worth the 50$ your mom paid me to do this”
“Lets try a toy next time.”
“Are you done yet?”
“Oh, already?”
“Luke, I’m your father.”
“Thrusters, engage.”
Some come from personal experience…just kidding…maybe. Haha no, I’ve got a great gal and she treats me right.
/bruised ego
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